They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
zippers are such a cool invention
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
