I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
