hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
