two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
