idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
