We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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