Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
