theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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