Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
