kristin has been a bad kristin
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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