Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All I want is dick and wine.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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