Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
