woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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