we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just gift wrapped bread.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
