I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
