She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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