I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
