Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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