Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
