hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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