Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
