In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
