can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
