Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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