Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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