he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
