those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
