...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize