A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
