i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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