Pappa wants mamma naked
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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