Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
