I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
