I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
