I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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