the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
