it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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