I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
