Sry I called you an 8
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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