O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
