Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh god it's open bar.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
