He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize