well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
