I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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