no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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