if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
