if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
