I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
