She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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