how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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