Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
