I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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