North Korea, Best Korea!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
