Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
