I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
