can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize