so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
