so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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