I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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