you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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